Abra Catastrophe: The Inner Thoughts and Workings
by AceOfHearts777
Summary: I can't be the only one who wondered what was going on in Cosmo and Wanda's heads during the whole Magic Muffin fiasco. So I wrote some pieces of it out! It jumps around the episode a bit, and naturally it's fluffy. :3 :3 [Rated T for minor swearing]
1. I thought you had it!

**I'm gonna start off by saying that I wrote all 4 chapters of this entirely on accident. I was watching FOP on Youtube, and I began to tinker with the idea of writing what Cosmo and Wanda were thinking. Several hours later, I had accidentally written the longest fanfic EVER. And here she is. :3 :3**

 **Each chapter takes place at a different point in the episode "Abra Catastrophe".**

 **I don't own The Fairly Oddparents.**

* * *

 _Abra Catastrophe: The Inner Thoughts and Workings_

 **Starting after the world returned to normal after Ape Overlords**

* * *

"Hey, wait a minute! Where's the magic muffin?!" Timmy shouted.

"I thought you had it!" Cosmo shouted to Wanda.

"I thought Bippy had it!" Wanda replied.

"Eep!" Bippy said as he shrugged.

"Crocker!" Timmy yelled.

"This is horrible! With the magic in that muffin, he could be unstoppable!" Wanda exclaimed.

They looked out over the hill to see in there was any sign that Crocker had messed anything up yet. Suddenly, Wanda heard a noise behind them.

She gasped as she realized that it was a butterfly net headed straight towards them.

 _Cosmo_! She thought to herself.

"Look out!" She threw herself forward and pushed them all down the hill, she tried to keep up, but it wasn't enough. The butterfly net wrapped itself tightly around her, and pulled her back.

"AAAHHH!" She screamed as she was pulled closer to her captor. Which turned out to be none other than Crocker.

"Let me out! Let me out!" She screamed as she threw herself against the walls of the net. She bashed against them again and again, but to no avail, she was trapped.

Cosmo heard his wife's desperate pleas and couldn't believe what just happened. She sacrificed herself so that he could be free, and now she was stuck in that crazy teacher's clutches.

"Wandaaaa!" He called after her as Crocker whisked her off.

From inside the net, she heard her husband's heartbroken calls for her, and tears welled up in her eyes. _It'll be alright. I'll be fine. As long as Cosmo's safe..._ She thought to herself.

"Wanda! Come back!" Cosmo cried as he chased after them.

"Cosmo, stop! He'll capture you too!" Timmy screamed as he tackled his godfather out of the sky.

"But I LOVE HER!" Cosmo wailed. He was absolutely devastated, Wanda was the best thing that ever happened to him, and now she was being held prisoner and being forced to do who knows what! _What if he hurts her?!_

"We GOTTA save her Timmy! WE GOTTA!" Cosmo said as he clung to the boy's shirt.

"This is all your fault you poop throwing primate!" Cosmo screamed in Bippy's face.

Timmy pulled them apart and faced Cosmo, "I love her too Cosmo, and I won't let anything happen to her."

"But I'm useless without Wanda!" He admitted. "I can't even clean my ears without Wanda!" He poofed up a q-tip and began to hit himself with it.

He knew it was a bit of an exaggeration, but it wasn't entirely wrong. He couldn't do anything without Wanda- she was his whole life. He loved waking up to her smile in the morning, and how motherly she'd be to Timmy, how she'd always help him fix his mistakes when he screwed up a wish, and the way she fit in his arms when they slept always felt magical to him. He couldn't do anything without Wanda... Because there was no point.

"See?!" He whined. "My ear's not clean!" He flew over to Timmy, and began to panic.

"Don't you understand what this means?! I have to start dating again!"

 _I don't wanna date anyone! I wanna be with Wanda_! Cosmo thought frantically.

"I'm terrible at small talk! Go on, ask me about the weather!"

"How's the weather?" Timmy obliged.

"JEFF!" He exclaimed. "See?! That makes no sense! My small talk stinks!" Cosmo curled up into a ball and began to suck his thumb.

Nothing terrified Cosmo more than losing Wanda, and right now his worst fear seemed to be coming true. So he panicked as his world came crashing down around him.

"Okay, Cosmo's gone bye-bye Bippy. It's up to you and me!" Timmy stated.

Suddenly, a banana-nut muffin cart rolled by, and Bippy darted off after it.

"Okay, it's up to me."


	2. Those are some massive pecs

**I don't own The Fairly Oddparents.**

* * *

 _Abra Catastrophe: The Inner Thoughts and Workings_

 **Starting at the Bowing Ceremony.**

* * *

"You know what this party needs?" Crocker asked the fairy in his staff. "Shrimp puffs!"

And with that he pointed his scepter towards the sky, and Wanda felt the horrible pain again.

It felt like a million volts of electricity were surging through her body, burning every inch of her, inside and out. She could feel herself being drained of her magic and her energy, and she was powerless to stop it. She could only scream in agony as this mad man used her powers for his own greedy purposes.

* * *

Wanda's ungodly screams were too much for him to bear. Cosmo couldn't stand seeing the love of his life being tortured like this.

"Ahh, he's hurting Wanda!" He wailed as tears filled his eyes. "He's too powerful!"

"We gotta do something!" Timmy yelled at him.

"Well whaddaya want me to do!?" Cosmo yelled frantically. "I mean look at me: I'm a wimp! These aren't muscles, these are bones with sleeves!" Cosmo couldn't help but tear up again at the thought of being so useless. "I can't do it! I've failed you and Wanda!"

With that Cosmo poofed home.

* * *

"What do I do? What do I do?!" Cosmo rambled to himself as he paced around his and Wanda's room. When he finally glanced up, what he saw stopped him dead in his tracks.

It was a huge picture of them on their wedding day. They loved that picture, it was the best day of their lives, and so they kept it hanging in their room. As Cosmo looked at it, he flashed back to that day.

He thought about how ecstatic he was when she said yes, how glad he was that she was officially his now, how gorgeous she'd looked in her dress... And he remembered his vows.

 _"I promise that I'll protect you from anything Wanda. I won't let anything bad happen to you. Ever."_

Cosmo's panicked expression quickly morphed into a more serious one.

Wanda was his best friend, his wife, his everything. He had to save her.

"If only I weren't so weak..." He started to speak, when suddenly it hit him.

He frantically flew into the basement and riffled through a box by his old weight bench. He flipped through a small stack of VHS tapes before he found what he was looking for.

It read: _Massive Pecs in 5 Secs._

"Bingo." Cosmo said to himself.

* * *

"I'll never bow down to you Crocker!" Crocker's eyes shot open, and he glanced towards the voice. Though Wanda recognized it right away.

 _Timmy_! She thought excitedly.

She figured that Timmy and Cosmo would come up with some sort of plan to stop Crocker. When she glanced over however, she noticed that it was only Timmy. _Where's Cosmo? Is he okay?_ She began to worry about her husband.

"I don't care how powerful you are! You're still a second rate elementary school teacher!" Crocker scowled at Timmy.

"And shrimp puffs reek!" At this point the crowd around them "Ooh"ed.

"Hmm," Crocker turned to face Wanda. "What would an angry dictator say right now?"

"I'm gonna let the fairy go?" Wanda offered.

"No!" Then his voice softened for a moment. "Good try though, I respect that."

 _Damnit_. Wanda thought to herself.

"He'd say SILENCE!"

"AAAAHHHH!" She screamed as Crocker blasted his scepter at Timmy.

Wanda wanted to yell out to him. Tell him go to somewhere safe, that she'd be fine. But she was in too much pain to speak.

The next thing she knew, they were right in front of Timmy.

"Who are you?!" Crocker yelled as he kneeled down to his level.

"I'm... Uhh," Timmy started as he pulled down his hood. "One of America's most beloved comedy entertainers?"

"Fine Shemp," He started as he stood back up again. "If it's a magic fight you want, it's a magic fight you'll get!"

This time the shock was continuous and whilst being shocked, she was being thrown around inside the scepter.

When she next opened her eyes, she was face to face with her godson. She glanced over and noticed that the magic mirror had been shattered. It was killing her, the fact that her magic was supposed to protect him and make him smile, and now it was being used in an attempt to destroy him.

Timmy and Crocker exchanged a few words, but Wanda wasn't paying much attention. She was focusing all her energy on holding back her tears.

"Excuse me,"

She heard the familiar voice, and her eyes shot open.

"Hi Mr. Crazy-Face." Cosmo started.

Wanda couldn't believe her eyes. Cosmo had come to save her! HER Cosmo! Who was afraid of his own shadow! And not only was he here, but he was _hunky_.

"Meet Mr. Fairy-Fist!" Cosmo finished as his arm shot forward and nailed Crocker in the face.

Crocker flew backwards, bringing Wanda along with him. While Crocker lay dazed and confused, Wanda took the time to further admire her husband.

He looked _damn good_. Sure, she liked the way he normally looked, but there was something oddly endearing and incredibly sexy about that fact that he looked like that _just for her_. To save her.

"Wandaaaa!" He yelled as he flew towards her.

"That fairy hit me." Wanda gasped as she heard Crocker behind her. "Wait," he realized. "That _fairy_ hit me!"

"Cosmo! Look out!" Wanda yelled.

Wanda flinched with every blast Crocker fired at him. But to her amazement, and honestly, everyone else's, he managed to deflect every blast. They would simply bounce off of his muscles as if he were invincible.

Crocker looked over to her in awe. "Those are some massive pecs..."

Wanda gave a sly grin. _And they're all mine_. She thought to herself.

Suddenly, Cosmo began to charge at them, flying at a speed Wanda had never even imagined a fairy could reach.

Even Cosmo was impressed with his newfound skills. He'd never been able to take a blow like that, or even fly this fast. But boy was he grateful that he could right now, because he was gonna do it. He was gonna save Wanda.

His face turned into one of pure hatred as he thought of all the pain Crocker had put Wanda through. Anyone who did that to her had to suffer.

"Oh poopy." Crocker said right before Cosmo wailed on him.

Punches flew from left and right. They seemed to be coming from every direction at once, and it was an incredible sight to see. Crocker couldn't take it anymore, and flew backwards as Cosmo decked him square in the face. The scepter flew through the air, and Cosmo caught it.

"Cosmo!" Wanda yelled out joyfully. "Nice massive pecs." She commented once again through lidded eyes.

"Ya like 'em?" Cosmo asked as he posed, showing off to his wife. "Well, maybe I'll watch _5 Second Massive Calves_ , and _5 Second Massive Thighs_ , and _5 Second_ _Massive Glutes_."

Suddenly, the staff jerked beneath Wanda, and she gasped. Crocker had grabbed a hold of it. Suddenly, he pushed a red button, and Cosmo was sucked into the scepter with her.

Just from being sucked into the scepter, he'd already lost so much energy that he felt light headed. And much to his disappointment, his massive pecs were now gone.

"Haha!" Crocker laughed as he tested his scepter's new power.

Cosmo and Wanda screamed as they were zapped. Cosmo was mortified. He couldn't even imagine how bad it must have hurt when Wanda was alone in here; at least now that he was there, they would share the blow, but alone... He shuddered as he thought about it. Imagining the pain was excruciating, and imagining that pain on his wife was unbearable.

"Now I have 2 times the fairy fun! And nobody can stop me!" Crocker yelled before continuing his evil laughter.

"Let those fairies go!" Timmy hollered at him.

"Back for more, eh? Okay. I'll show you what magic, along with the proper planning and a bit of psychosis, can REALLY do!"

He extended his arm, and used the staff to create a portal and quickly sucked Timmy inside.

"Nooooo!" Was the last thing Cosmo and Wanda heard from him before the portal closed.

They turned to each other with tears in their eyes, and they embraced. Even though they knew it wasn't their fault, they couldn't help but feel guilty that their magic was being used against their godson.

Their hug was unfortunately cut short as Crocker powered up the staff again and created another portal for him to jump through.

They were rendered powerless, and were forced to watch their godson try to escape Crocker's wrath without them.


	3. Their names are Cosmo and Wanda

**I don't own The Fairly Oddparents.**

* * *

 _Abra Catastrophe: The Inner Thoughts and Workings_

 **Starting at the end during their reveal.**

* * *

"Their names, are Cosmo and Wanda," Timmy started.

"Timmy, NO!" They yelled at him.

"And they're my fairy godparents!" Timmy shouted.

"AH HA! I knew it all along! I was right! You do have fairies! That I have now!" Crocker exclaimed as he began to laugh evilly.

Cosmo and Wanda looked over to each other, fear in their eyes. They were gonna have to leave Timmy.

"Well, there's rules as to what I can and can't do with them." They heard Timmy respond to his parents.

"And you just broke the biggest one!" Cosmo reminded him.

"When you reveal our existence, we have to go away forever!" Wanda chimed in.

"WHAT?!" Crocker screamed.

"That's the point!" Timmy exclaimed to them.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake and the roof of the Turner residence was torn off by a huge cyclone. A huge copy of Da Rules dropped from the sky, and opened up in front of them. It started to suck like a vacuum, but the only things it seemed to affect were Cosmo and Wanda.

Crocker's scepter burst open, and the fairies flew out. Thinking fast, Wanda grabbed Cosmo's ankle, and Cosmo grabbed onto the base of the staff they were trapped in moments ago.

"But we don't wanna go away forever!" Cosmo wailed.

"We love you!" Wanda screamed to Timmy.

"I love you too. And that's why I had to tell the truth." He started sadly. "Because THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!"

Cosmo's hand slipped off the scepter, and they began to tumble into the book.

"TIMMY!" They wailed desperately as they were transported back to Fairy World.

They landed with a thump right beneath the Fairy World sign.

They shakily stood up and brushed themselves off, before looking to the sky where the portal had just been.

"He... He saved us." Cosmo stammered.

"He did." Wanda replied.

Cosmo took a minute to survey his wife. She looked exhausted and fairly beat up.

"Are you okay lollipop?" He asked her.

Wanda looked down at herself for a moment, as if looking for an answer to that question. "Yeah, I'm okay sweetie. Are you?"

"Yeah." He said as he floated over to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

She returned his gesture and wrapped her arms tightly around him before planting a small kiss on the side of his neck.

Suddenly, a bright beam engulfed them, and they pulled apart just before they were sucked back up into the sky.

They were beamed right back to Timmy.

"Wow, that was quick!" Cosmo joked.

They poofed Timmy out of his chains, and they all shared a warm hug.

"Oh, nice use of muffin sport!" Wanda said approvingly. "Would you like to do the honors?"

"You bet! I wish everything was back to normal, and everybody forgot I had fairy godparents!"

Cosmo and Wanda raised their wands and granted his wish, and they all went home.


	4. Kissing the Boo-Boos

**I don't own The Fairly Oddparents!**

* * *

 _Abra Catastrophe: The Inner Thoughts and Workings_

 **Oh hey look, an original part that I came up with**!

* * *

It had been a long day, and the trio was pleased that they could finally get some rest.

"Goodnight you guys." Timmy said to his fairies.

"Goodnight Timmy!" Cosmo said as he poofed him into his PJs.

"We love you!" Wanda added.

Timmy smiled as his godmother tucked him in. "Love you too." He said with a sleepy smile.

Cosmo and Wanda shared a glance and poofed into their castle.

"Are you _sure_ you're okay baby?" Cosmo asked her.

"Come on hon, you've asked me that a million times today. I told you, I'm fine." She said with a small smile.

Wanda was hoping that he couldn't see right through her. She'd been hiding her pain from him and Timmy all day, she didn't want them to worry about her. She knew she'd be fine in a couple of days, and that all her bruises would fade fast thanks to fairies' notoriously fast healing. So, she reasoned, lying to her boys for a little while couldn't hurt.

"Okay." Cosmo said.

He still wasn't convinced, but he didn't want to argue with her because neither of them had the energy to do so.

They made their way to their room, and Cosmo threw himself down on the bed, landing face first onto his pillow.

Wanda followed him, gently toppling herself onto the bed as well. However, when she landed, she couldn't stop a low groan from escaping her lips.

Cosmo's head shot off the pillow and he immediately locked eyes with her.

"Wanda!" He rolled closer to her and gently put his arm around her. "You're _not_ okay, are you?" He asked her sadly.

"I've been better, but I'm alright."

Cosmo knew she'd been lying, he could see it in her eyes, and he could tell she was hurting by the way she'd been moving all night. She would float closer to him, and move slower; it was like she'd been afraid of falling right out of the air. He couldn't take it anymore. His wife was suffering and it was all his fault.

"I'm sorry!" He wailed as he burst into tears.

"What?! Why are you sorry Cosmo?" Wanda asked him completely baffled.

"I'm sorry that all of this happened to you! And I'm sorry that I couldn't save you sooner!" His sobs overtook him and he cried into his wife's shoulder.

"Oh, sweetie." Wanda started, rubbing his back soothingly. "Please don't blame yourself! It's okay, I'm fine now."

"Wanda!" Cosmo yelled into her. "I saw you! I heard you screaming in pain earlier, and I heard you cry out just a minute ago. I know he hurt you!"

Wanda sighed heavily. She didn't want to tell him, and at the same time she knew she had to.

"Yes Cosmo." She stated. "He did hurt me, but most of the bruises are from myself. I fought a bit harder than I should have to escape." She admitted with a halfhearted chuckle.

 _Bruises_. The word echoed through Cosmo's mind like thunder. He knew bruises weren't that bad, but because they were on Wanda, they seemed so much worse to him.

"Wanda... Can... Can I see? I wanna know what happened to you." He asked her shakily.

"Cosmo, it's really not that..." Cosmo cut her off.

"Wanda," He begged her. "Please?" He finished with small tears in his eyes.

She sighed. She couldn't hide it from him, it wouldn't be right.

Gently, she removed her shirt, and she laid back in only her bra and pants. When Cosmo finally got a good look at her, he gasped.

It broke his heart to see all the wounds his wife had acquired today, he had been far more fortunate than she, and received only a few minor cuts and bruises. Wanda seemed to be covered in them.

Wanda could see the guilt in his eyes. "It's okay honey, I'll be fine. They're not even that bad." She told him.

Cosmo didn't know how to react to that, so he just did what he wanted to do. He placed himself over her, making sure not to rest any weight on her, and he placed feather light kisses on every one of her wounds, trailing tears as he did. _She's felt so much pain today; I can at least try and make it better._ He knew for a fact that whenever he got a cut or scrape, a kiss from Wanda would instantly take the pain away. He hoped that it worked both ways.

He kissed the dark bruises on her shoulders from when she rammed against the net's walls, the small bruises on her knuckles from banging on the scepter's glass, and he kissed every inch of the large bruise that wrapped around her midsection, where the butterfly net had grabbed her.

Once he had covered all of her bruises, he kissed up her stomach, and caught her lips with his. They stayed like this for as long as they could before parting.

Wanda looked into his eyes, and noticed they were still watery.

"Thank you sweetie."

He brightened up a bit at her statement.

"I already feel a lot better thanks to you." She said before giving him a quick kiss.

He leaned back down and kissed her again, deeper than before.

Earlier today, he feared that he'd never be able to do this again. So he was comforted as he lay here with her, feeling her fingers in his hair and tasting her lips.

Wanda sighed happily and allowed herself to become completely lost in their kiss. She'd wanted to kiss him like this all day, ever since he'd come to save her. She'd just never gotten the chance because they'd been trapped, and then spent some time with their godson.

She thought back again about when Cosmo showed up. She couldn't get over how good he looked.

She smiled into their kiss and she pushed Cosmo up a bit.

"I forgot to say this earlier, so I'll say it now." She started. "Thank you for coming to save me."

"But... I failed." He said as he cast his eyes away from hers.

"But you risked everything to try, and that alone means so much."

Cosmo looked back at her and gave her a small smile.

"And," she added. "You looked incredible." She said with a chuckle.

A light blush appeared on Cosmo's face. "Thanks." He said bashfully.

"Come on, let's get some rest." Wanda said.

Cosmo nodded gently and lay down beside her. He gently pulled her to him, and relished the moment.

Things were finally back to normal.

Wanda snuggled deeper into Cosmo's arms, feeling the safest she had all day. "I love you Cosmo." She whispered.

"I love you too Wanda." He said as he placed a kiss on the top of her head.

They fell asleep in each other's arms; everything was back to normal, and everything was perfect again, because they were together again.

* * *

 **Sooo yeah. I wrote this all without ever having intended too, and I personally think it to be my favorite story so far. Please review!**


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